Hey look! She writes!
In some counterbalance for yesterdays political rampage, I feel obligated to expel what's in my brain..
Poor Sam and I had our workout/ladytime cut short on account of her poor fussy bugs
Normally gym days quelled my mundane social chatter but so it goes

Still reading Bob Flanagan's Pain Journal whenever I'm feeling ick.
Cystic Fibrosis patients suffer from extreme lung and sinus infections and
Reading it while going through my own 3 month roller-coaster ride of infections makes it relate-able.
My goal has been to beat the onslaught before the end of his journal (in which he dies).
So far the newest cocktail of antibioticsa has been the most effective- 10 more days to go
And then I take another 10 more days of super antibiotics to correct the "side effect" of the meds.
If it's not one body part failing it's another.
Oh modern medicine...

Attempting to keep somewhat of a social life through all the nonsense
Love/Hate relationship with the company I keep..
Small bursts keep things manageable and some people need only to be seen few and far between
Also putting love life on the backburner as usual.
I have plenty of sexual energy surrounding me (apparently)
but I just don't feel like it's a hugely important priority right now.
Although on the other hand I couldn't really tell you what IS a priority
Maybe finishing Terminator Squirrel and my new pet flesh eating beetles coming in the mail?
This entry is probably the textbook profile of a serial killer.

I was commissioned to make an antler headpiece for a burlesque dancer in Chicago
which will be terrible fun, but I've been having difficulties figuring how to secure them since they can weigh quite a bit
I've read a lot that people cast them and that is far less heavy but that is even more involved of a process
She's given me pretty much full artistic run within the boundaries of a shaman native American feel
and I'm excited to incorporate some dyed black coyote fur and some beading and bones

I've also picked up a few turtle shells off ebay to make skull cap style headpieces with feathers as well,
though haven't decided how exactly to approach that entirely yet

Somehow I've got to get a storage unit and start packing stuff away into it soon... That's my least favorite task in the WORLD
And currently most of my free time has gone into scouring thrift stores for electronics to flip on ebay for extra scratch
last month alone I profited nearly $400 but I've got a feeling I'll have drained all my resources for a while
Tomorrow being my first Saturday off in ages and no plans, I'll be trying the garage sales to see what I can find.

May 1st would be our official unofficial 6 year anniversary
We were supposed to go to Chicago and see the body worlds exhibit and the museums and such
but he had to cancel because his bid on the job in a different department went through and he'll be working different hours for a month.
Not that it matters all that much, after our fight over my refusal to move back to shitholeville to be closer to him
The only reason I keep going back is he used to be one of my best friends,
and talking to him still feels the same
I wish i would have left well enough alone and not allowed things to progress farther than that
If it wasn't for all the relationship-based expectations I could just distance myself from his poor decisions
Even prior to drugs becoming an issue, he's a pretty complicated individual
I knew better than to date him when he was pressing me to do it.. The chemistry was there, but I knew he was toxic
And look where it's gotten me
It's all a matter-of-fact thought in my head at this point that it's a dead end
Disheartening but not devastating
So i guess now I'm purposing something to the effect of friends with exclusive benefits? In not so many words
 

Easter is one of those holidays I don't feel terrible about having no nearby relatives to tolerate for the day.
I'm perfectly content to have my day off doing yoga and pampering myself with a bath.
I feel the burn in my arms and legs and stomach this morning.
Getting back to the gym is incredibly cathartic to my mind as much as it is beneficial otherwise.
The city is draining the gutters so right in front of my exercise bike I can see a lake of water fill the street.
I'll miss watching it in a Zen-like trance while listening to my headphones when they're done.

This chronic crippling stomach pain is more than I can handle. I wish I could just figure out it's underlying cause...
I've already been to the emergency room to which they concluded I'm not dying and sent me on my way with prescription iboprofen..
It works for what it is but is hardly a cure. We will just have to see what the actual doc has to conclude.
In the meantime, self medication with green is about all that sooths.
I don't even like smoking and the anxiety / lethargy I consequently feel. But at this point, I could hardly care.