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Vivica Vivisect
Confessions of High Class Gutter Trash.
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25th-Jan-2012 02:34 pm - textbook profile of a serial killer

Hey look! She writes!
In some counterbalance for yesterdays political rampage, I feel obligated to expel what's in my brain..
Poor Sam and I had our workout/ladytime cut short on account of her poor fussy bugs
Normally gym days quelled my mundane social chatter but so it goes

Still reading Bob Flanagan's Pain Journal whenever I'm feeling ick.
Cystic Fibrosis patients suffer from extreme lung and sinus infections and
Reading it while going through my own 3 month roller-coaster ride of infections makes it relate-able.
My goal has been to beat the onslaught before the end of his journal (in which he dies).
So far the newest cocktail of antibioticsa has been the most effective- 10 more days to go
And then I take another 10 more days of super antibiotics to correct the "side effect" of the meds.
If it's not one body part failing it's another.
Oh modern medicine...

Attempting to keep somewhat of a social life through all the nonsense
Love/Hate relationship with the company I keep..
Small bursts keep things manageable and some people need only to be seen few and far between
Also putting love life on the backburner as usual.
I have plenty of sexual energy surrounding me (apparently)
but I just don't feel like it's a hugely important priority right now.
Although on the other hand I couldn't really tell you what IS a priority
Maybe finishing Terminator Squirrel and my new pet flesh eating beetles coming in the mail?
This entry is probably the textbook profile of a serial killer.

18th-Jun-2011 12:53 am(no subject)
I've been trying in vain to organize myself for WEEKS
but it's like I've been playing ring-around-the-rosie, running in circles
and my to-do-lists are in ashes by the end of the day
I'm hoping maybe writing my projects out in here it might keep me a little bit more organized and on track,
even if it's just rambling!

I was commissioned to make an antler headpiece for a burlesque dancer in Chicago
which will be terrible fun, but I've been having difficulties figuring how to secure them since they can weigh quite a bit
I've read a lot that people cast them and that is far less heavy but that is even more involved of a process
She's given me pretty much full artistic run within the boundaries of a shaman native American feel
and I'm excited to incorporate some dyed black coyote fur and some beading and bones

I've also picked up a few turtle shells off ebay to make skull cap style headpieces with feathers as well,
though haven't decided how exactly to approach that entirely yet

Somehow I've got to get a storage unit and start packing stuff away into it soon... That's my least favorite task in the WORLD
And currently most of my free time has gone into scouring thrift stores for electronics to flip on ebay for extra scratch
last month alone I profited nearly $400 but I've got a feeling I'll have drained all my resources for a while
Tomorrow being my first Saturday off in ages and no plans, I'll be trying the garage sales to see what I can find.

May 1st would be our official unofficial 6 year anniversary
We were supposed to go to Chicago and see the body worlds exhibit and the museums and such
but he had to cancel because his bid on the job in a different department went through and he'll be working different hours for a month.
Not that it matters all that much, after our fight over my refusal to move back to shitholeville to be closer to him
The only reason I keep going back is he used to be one of my best friends,
and talking to him still feels the same
I wish i would have left well enough alone and not allowed things to progress farther than that
If it wasn't for all the relationship-based expectations I could just distance myself from his poor decisions
Even prior to drugs becoming an issue, he's a pretty complicated individual
I knew better than to date him when he was pressing me to do it.. The chemistry was there, but I knew he was toxic
And look where it's gotten me
It's all a matter-of-fact thought in my head at this point that it's a dead end
Disheartening but not devastating
So i guess now I'm purposing something to the effect of friends with exclusive benefits? In not so many words
 

24th-Apr-2011 03:16 pm(no subject)

Easter is one of those holidays I don't feel terrible about having no nearby relatives to tolerate for the day.
I'm perfectly content to have my day off doing yoga and pampering myself with a bath.
I feel the burn in my arms and legs and stomach this morning.
Getting back to the gym is incredibly cathartic to my mind as much as it is beneficial otherwise.
The city is draining the gutters so right in front of my exercise bike I can see a lake of water fill the street.
I'll miss watching it in a Zen-like trance while listening to my headphones when they're done.

21st-Apr-2011 10:55 pm(no subject)

This chronic crippling stomach pain is more than I can handle. I wish I could just figure out it's underlying cause...
I've already been to the emergency room to which they concluded I'm not dying and sent me on my way with prescription iboprofen..
It works for what it is but is hardly a cure. We will just have to see what the actual doc has to conclude.
In the meantime, self medication with green is about all that sooths.
I don't even like smoking and the anxiety / lethargy I consequently feel. But at this point, I could hardly care.

A follow up on Ken Melvoin-Berg- I had known of him first for his chicago sex tours... And apparently within the last few months he hosted a lecture at Northern Illinois University on human sexuality and kink.. That ended in a demonstration of a fuck-saw fucking machine. Literally a dildo attached to a motorized hand saw. I'm terribly disappointed in my lack of enrollment in advanced education.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/03/03/northwestern-university-professor-defends-explicit-sex-toy-demonstration/
20th-Apr-2011 09:39 pm - Chicago's Most Haunted Spot
The Iroquois Theater - destroyed in a deadly fire over a hundred years ago, which the Ford Theater partially replaced.

http://www.zenzoneforum.com/threads/3721-Chicago-s-Most-Haunted-Spot


"Primarily right now I am sensing them right over here down here and then directly above us," says Melvoin-Berg as he walks the area.

Round, floating orbs captured on film are no illusion. Melvoin-Berg says they're the ghosts from those trapped on the Iroquois fire balcony who thought they found a way out.

Suddenly a teacher with sharp eyes noticed "A-ha!" there's a fire escape door.

She goes to it, opens it and steps out. But the fire escape had not been built yet.

She opened the door stepped out and dropped six stories to her death.

In fact, 124 others followed her because they couldn't see, due to the smoke, that there was no fire escape."

Ken Melvin-Berg who is mentioned in this article is the guide to a few Weird Chicago tours that I've been considering for a while. You can find him on facebook. His bus tours range from Al Capone's gangster history, Chicago's red light district and sex industry spots, to all the most haunted spots in Chicago. You can find him on facebook.
Someone PLEASE give me one reason why it’s wrong to enjoy hunting and killing Elephants.

Here is how hunting works: conservationists determine, based on population density in the habitat, how many permits for big game hunting is allowed in any given season. You don’t just wander out into the woods and shoot up whatever you want. Even if you OWN the property. Of course people still harvest animals illegally on their property- and while that may seem like their own business, it’s not really fair for the most part. If everyone hunted deer on their land whenever they wanted their wouldn’t been any deer left. Regardless, my point is the guy from Go Daddy had a fucking PERMIT to hunt that elephant and he donated the meat to the villagers where he shot it. Why the hell does anyone care about an elephant but not deer? And if you do care about deer, then you sure as hell better care about chickens and cattle and everything else. Because these animals are dying in far less inhumane circumstances being shot in the wild in comparison to being overcrowded in a meatfactory under the guise of a cutesy farm and electrocuted like a death row inmate for mass consumption.

The origin of this rant came from an etsy artist I follow on twitter. Don’t get me wrong, I respect her and her art very much and for that I find no reason to post her name. I find her work to be of great inspiration. But the irony of her post on how she bailed ship on her GoDaddy domain because the CEO said he enjoyed hunting elephants just seemed absurd. Yes, hunting is at this point an unnecessary leisure time sports activity rather than a struggle for life or death acquiring food for your family. But this artist specifically isn’t a vegan animal rights activist. She uses animals in her art. Taxidermy bat wings, rodent skulls, bones, etc. Those animals were either hunted or raised. But somehow they were killed. By a human. And now you’re wearing them and gaining financially from their death.

This is a clear case of mass media hysteria over nothing, and you are made to feel guilty if you don’t care. Don’t buy into it. Go eat cook a steak and think about how once upon a time cattle roamed free and weren’t 100% domesticated. Then realize you have eyes in the front of your head and teeth made to tare flesh and pour some A1 on your plate and enjoy that fucking steak like the predator you are.
5th-Nov-2009 02:21 am - trying.. to.. remain.. calm..
So I've been freak-out panic city w this damn new apt.
Spent all Sunday fighting w comrade because nothing is planned and he was 5 hours late.
I've learned to never expect him on time, usually runs 1-2 hrs late for everything
But 5?? On the day we were supposed to pick up the key and pay rent? ugh!!
Then when we call the lady holding the key for us to say we're running late-
she says the kid living there STILL hasn't gotten his stuff all the way out!
Meaning the place hasn't been cleaned and I'd assume kid still has the key
WTF? Luckily I have till the 15th overlapping in my old place.
3 days of no response from the actual landlord before he finally answers the phone to tell me it'll be ready by Friday..
And comrade is to somehow make the exchange of keys for rent around his ridiculous work schedule
I'm a control freak and micro-manager so leaving this all on the shoulders of other people is brutally aggravating
I'm fairly certain comrade doesn't even know what he's bringing over or who's going to help him do it
I expected to have 2 weeks to shuttle my things back and forth between my old and new places
so I haven't even packed anything.. and time is quickly flying by

Comrade insisted it would be an amusing twist of fate that we would have to postpone our move in date to the 11th.
He says the date stands out in his mind, as the date we moved into our first place together 3 years ago.
I really didn't think so... but I looked it up our old lease, and he's right.
4th-Nov-2009 11:48 pm - Delta 9 - Zombie Time


Zombie Time w/Delta 9 Friday was amazing
I'm glad I didn't let anxiety get the best of me to not go..
I've mastered it for the most part but it still creeps in and gets the best of me at times.
Obscure and I ate from my magic bag and fried and giggled like silly children
She somehow managed to score us plenty to drink for almost free
I remember rolling around and laughing on the bathroom floor (it was clean)
And polling random people trying to talk to us what they preferred- circles, squares, or triangles (who knows)
I was scouted by a photographer who shoots in black light, which is great..
I just happened to be looking for someone with that sort of knowledge



Either I turn gay boys straight (not likely) or guys are becoming more devious in their pickup...
A boy w an obviously gay-ish lisp offered to read my palm and talked about boys town and fire dancing and San Francisco..
I assumed he was a gay gypsy, nothing I hadn't run into before
But apparently that was just a ruse he used to bring a girl's barrier down.
After we talked quite a while he said he had to go and tried -unsuccessfully- to put his hands all over me and his tounge down my throat!
He must have looked such a fool because I squealed and ran away haha

We partied literally till the sun came up
6am drive thrus and gas station attendants thought they were witty,
asking us if we had a late night partying or getting an early start on Halloween..
Obscure and I are Halloween partners in crime, we had amazing blast last year @ the Fetish Ball
She talks we should go to New Orleans next year.
I definitely see that as a possibility!
29th-Oct-2009 04:22 am - Welcome to 4am
I've lived alone for 2 years Oct 15th.
Today I was on the phone with my comrade and pouted at him- " I'm gonna have to wait to see you till Sunday again?"
"Well, after Sunday you're gonna have to see me
mondaytuesdaywednesdaythursdayfridaysaturdaysundaymondaytuesdaywednesdaythursdayfridaysaturdaysundaymonday
till the end of time!"
hahah
It's going to be weird sharing space with someone again..
I just hope I can balance my sanity around his insomnia style sleep schedual
29th-Oct-2009 03:16 am - Twitter and why it is amazing
Twitter has really turned me back on to the internet.
It's a steady stream of a wealth of knowledge in all different aspects
Summed up in 160 characters so as to keep my ADD brain from feeling overwhelmed with too much of one subject
but sparatic enough to keep my attention

Today I bought a $400 painting for $166

by Clint Carney- vocalist of System Syn/Keyboardist of Imperative Reaction

Watched Glam Lives's latex Hello Kitty fashion show

This was actually in Chicago in Feburary.. What a disappointment I missed that..

Read about an interesting memoir - Impossible Motherhood: Testimony of and Abortion Addict
At first I was repulsed by what the title implied.. but the story strips away the politcal and moral aspects of abortion and digs to the root of human psychology and emotion as to why she made the decisions she did. I'm particularly interested in how it curls strangely around feminism- is it impowering to women to not to be chained by the aspects of motherhood? I'm guessing the moral of the story is true feminism is to feel empowered in the right for YOU to make your choices, not let someone else bully you. But the journey promises to be intriguing.. Feminism always seems to have these dueling points of view I feel torn in between and this feeds into it

I polled random people I don't even know as to what it might take to photograph in blacklight.. Got wheels turning for some photoshoots..

That's just today! haha
My brain feels random and rejuvinated and excited and inspired.
I think it's what I always wanted to get from Myspace but was too caught up in the whore-dom..
Instead of being inspired I found myself compelled to dwell on drama and shallow nonsense
A flood of pretty people that unintentionally live their life straight out of the lyrics of KMFDM's - Dogma
"Let's stop saying Don't quote me, Because if no one quotes you- You probably haven't said a thing worth saying"
"You want to be famous and rich and happy, But you're terrified you have nothing to offer this world, Nothing to say and no way to say it"
and so on.. and so on...
27th-Oct-2009 01:04 pm - HEY!!!
Who is still alive out there??

I haven't used this in ages...
Feeling opinionated and fairly cheerful!
Reading my last few entries.. Wow, I'm 360 from then

So again... Who's still writing/reading out there?
6th-Jul-2005 12:17 pm - All is fair


Crimes of passion
with those who speak in tounges
Wheel out the gurney with the body bag
for the civilian casualties-
just collateral damage



Most men have 3 to 5 full erections during deep (rapid eye movement or REM) sleep. Men who are unable to have an erection because of a psychological problem still have erections during deep sleep. Occasionally some sleep disorders or serious depression can prevent these nighttime (nocturnal) erections. The NPT (Nocturnal Penile Tumescence) test determines whether a man is having normal erections during sleep

A strip of four to six postage stamps (any kind) is used for each test. The test needs to be done for three nights. The man needs to wear brief-type undershorts that have a fly. The penis is brought through the fly leaving most of the pubic hair against the body.

The strip of stamps is wrapped snugly around the shaft of the penis. The stamps need to overlap so the overlapped stamp can be moistened to seal the ring. When the stamp has dried, the penis is carefully replaced inside the shorts. The shorts are worn to sleep in. (They help protect the stamps from falling off).

In the morning, check to see if the stamp ring has been broken along the perforations. If the tearing of the stamps awakens the man during the night, check for an erection and how rigid the erection is.

In the case you do have ED...

You may want to consider an inflatable implant.



Inflatable implants consist of paired cylinders, which are surgically inserted inside the penis and can be expanded using pressurized fluid. Tubes connect the cylinders to a fluid reservoir and a pump, which are also surgically implanted. The patient inflates the cylinders by pressing on the small pump, located under the skin in the scrotum. Inflatable implants can expand the length and width of the penis somewhat. They also leave the penis in a more natural state when not inflated.

SQUEEZE THOSE TESTES AND PUMP THAT BITCH UP
19th-May-2005 12:36 pm - I feel like watching Taxi Driver

"The idea had been growing in my brain for some time..."
2nd-Apr-2005 03:44 am - Toxi Kandy
Lil miss Cotton Kandy Lip Service (left) and me (right) gettin our pics on last Saturday at some crappy local emo show. Isn't she just oh-so-dolly-rrific? ^_^

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Toxi Kandy - Melts in yer mouth, not in your hand )
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